Thanksgiving

We enjoyed a wonderful Thanksgiving day with Mark's family. As most people do, we ate way too much and enjoyed a day of being together as a family. We are truly blessed.

But.. as I was driving home, I began thinking about Thanksgiving. I was suddenly ashamed of my day and what I had done. I'm not so sure about you, but me?... well, I take my life for granted way too often. I'm ashamed to say that Thanksgiving, for me, has become just a wonderful day to be with my family. A day of feasting and of being with family. It is special and I truly do enjoy it, but the day of "thanksgiving" has all too disappeared.

I was sadden by that thought. It seems to me that many "holidays" have simply become a day of fun, not the way it was originally intended. For some holidays, I am grateful. Halloween is a day that the kids enjoy dressing up and going door to door for candy. It is fun for them. It isn't an "evil" day. They don't light pumpkins to chase the spirits away. THey don't spend time thinking of the dead or celebrating it in any evil way. It is just a fun time. I am thankful for that. But many holidays that Christians set aside, have become nothing more then days of fun.

So, as I pondered this thought, I realized that Thanksgiving was not truly a day of thanksgiving for me. In all honestly, my mouth might have said I was thankful, but my heart merely touched the subject. I really didn't spend time pondering it. I didn't count my blessings, shamefully enough I am not even sure I thought of my blessings. Oh, I thought of Elizabeth and how thankful I am that this was her first Thanksgiving. But, my thoughts tended to be on helping prepare the food, cleaning up, and looking through the ads for "black Friday".

And so my heart was saddened on my trip home. It made me begin to thank about what Thanksgiving truly is about. I began to be filled with a spirit of thanksgiving... one I haven't experienced in a very long time. You see, my life is flying by and my mind is often taken away from such things. I am trying desparately to keep my head above water in the whirlwind of activities and parenting. So far too often I am complaining of my life rather then being thankful. I spend my time wishing I didn't have laundry instead of realizing how blessed I am that all 7 of us have an abundance of clothing or being thankful that we have money enough to buy laundry soap and sometimes even fabric softener. How thankful I am that we have a washer and a dryer that work. But, no... life takes over and the mundane duties of my day pull me into a moad of bitterness or frustration instead of joy and rejoicing.

I complain about having to fix breakfast, pack lunches or make lunch, clean up only to make dinner. I complain of not having any food when our cupboards are full and I'm really just not in the mood for what is in it. I complain that we eat the same stuff over and over. I complain about the dishes that don't match and am embarrassed when company comes and we have only odds and ends. I complain because right now we only have enough spoons for each of us to have one. .... Instead of rejoicing that we have a table to sit down as a family and enjoy our meal together, instead of being thankful that we have food to eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner and several snacks in between; instead of being blown away that we are never lacking food and often able to feed others. And then, when I am ashamed of all my complaining, I am reminded of an article I read Thanksgiving morning as I was waking up with Elizabeth. It was in an Adoption magazine and it was about a little orphan boy who was starving to death. It brought tears to my eyes as I read of his suffering and how the orphanage struggled to save this little boy. I was in awe of how God providing for this little one and how his life has changed. And yet, I complain of my "duties" in the kitchen. Oh how thankful I am for what I have and the abundance we have been given... and oh how ashamed I am for my lack of thankfulness daily!

I complain of the filth around our house, of the chaos of our life, of the attitudes that the kids pull on me at times, of the bickering and complaining I hear from them. I complain of the running around, all the different activities that the kids are in, the staying up at night with them, the getting up early with Mark, the lack of sleep, the lack of energy I have, the things I don't have and yet seem to desire, the life that I am living..... HOW ASHAMED AND PITIFUL I AM. I can relate so much to Paul when he wrote this verse: Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. Romans 7:24-25

Am I thankful? Well, on Thanksgiving day, I did not take the time to be thankful. No, I feasted. I said my prayers, read my bible and then went on with my "special" day. But today? I believe that God has allowed me to begin to "count my blessings". He's opened the door for me to begin to truly be thankful and take the time to reflect on it. I am thankful for the filth in our house. I don't like it and I certainly do not enjoy the constant cleaning of it. I wish that I the ability and the energy to train my kids to be as perfect as so many families that I tend to compare them to. .... but how quick I am at forgetting that those families probably have the same issues within their closed doors. Are my kids perfect????? The answer is obvious. If they were perfect, there would be no need for Christ. They are not perfect. But they are incredible kids. They are so much more then I ever was at their ages. They are wonderful, incredible, exciting, vibrant, special, children of the King. As far as the filth goes... well.. I am so thankful that they are kids that enjoy life. They are active, they love doing things, they love having friends over, they love the activities that they are in. I am thankful that they are such great kids. I am thankful that when I have had enough, they don't fight me about getting down and dirty and attempting to catch up with the dirt. I am thankful that after EVERY dinner, all of them get up and clean the kitchen for me. I am thankful that when I am exhausted and they know it, they get up and help me out. I am thankful that when I am stressed, Emily always steps in and cleans. I am thankful for their sensitivity, their love, their help and their obedience. They are great kids. I am so very thankful for their character, their strength, their love for the Lord, their desire to please Mark and I, their respect for us, their love for each other, I am so thankful for them.

And for the chaos of our life? Yes, it is tough.... but I am so thankful for the talent that God has given each of them. I am thankful that they long to be with their friends and that they have WONDERFUL friends. I am thankful for their ability to make good choices with their friends and good choices on who their friends are. I am thankful that they share with us the things that are going on in thier lives.. the good and the bad. I am so very thankful that they are not ashamed of us and that they still hug us and still tell us they love us. I am thankful that they have good reputations and that they are all great students. I am thankful for the many, many things they are involved in.

I could spend the rest of the night sharing with you the things that God has shown me this weekend. I long to be able to write them all down, but do not have the time nor do I think you would have the desire to read. But I do want to share a few things that I am thankful for in addition to what I have already shared.

I am forever thankful for my husband. He is the love of my life and knight in shining armor. He is my hero, my mentor, my very best friend. He is my perfect completion and my all in all. He is my love. I cherish him, I need him, I love him, I am thankful beyond words for having him as my husband. God has given me more then I had ever dreamed nor had I ever hoped for. I am in awe.

God used Mark to lead me to understand who Jesus Christ is and what He has done for me. I am not certain if I was saved before I met Mark, but I know that God used him to bring me to love Jesus and truly make him the Lord of my life. I will be forever in debted for that. I thank God that He chose to allow my husband to be the man who brought me to that point. And I am forever thankful for my salvation! Of all things that I should be thankful for, it is this.

And through Mark, I have been given another family. My inlaws are more then I could ever dream. I hear of so many who dread their inlaws, especially their mother-in-laws. But me? Well, my mother-in-law is like my second mother. I look to her for her friendship, her love, her advice, her help, her guidance. She is more then a mother-in-law, she is my friend. I love her so very deeply. I need her in my life and my kids need her in thiers. To borrow an expression, I think they broke the mold when they made "Mamaw".. there is no grandmother quite like her. My father-in-law is the same. He is a man I love with all my heart. I respect him and am so thankful that he is my children's grandfather. He is kind, thoughtful, helpful, loving, supportive, he is a wonderful man. My sister-in-law is the best aunt on earth. She is better then a second mother to our children. She loves them like her own. She is there for me with advice and counsel. She is more then a sister, she is a very, very dear friend. I trust her completely with our kids and if God would so choose, to raise our children. Words just aren't adequate to describe her. I am also thankful for her husband, my brother-in-law, who allows Susan to do anything she wants for and with the kids. He has welcomed the kids countless weekends into his home. He has sat and watched TV with them, shot hoops with them, talked to them and just plain put up with them. He has even taken them all on vacations... his vacations! The two of them are incredible! And Elizabeth's favorite of all... Uncle Paul. He is my brother-in-law, but should be simply my brother. He is such a dear friend. He is the best uncle on earth. He drops anything and everything to help us in anyway we need. He has driven here countless times to pick up the kids for "special" time with him or Aunt Susan or Mamaw. He has cheered them on at sporting events or battle books. He has visited us in the hospital... many occasions.... and visited the kids when they have been sick. He calls the instant he knows one is sick or had a bad day. They all do! And I am thankful for Mark's oldest brother. He loves our kids and would do anything he could for them. But most of all, he is the one who set Mark and I up on a blind date. Without him, Mark and I would never have met.

I am also so thankful for my family. My parents gave me a wonderful childhood. They were there for every activity I was ever involved in. I do not remember a game that one or both of my parents weren't there. My dad even gave up a wonderful promotion opportunity just so he could be home with us and go to our games. And my activities were much like our kids activities! I was involved in every sport I could be. My brother and sister were too. My parents were excellent parents. They supported me through every good and bad choice I made in life.... and there were plenty of bad choices as I dabbled with my independence. And now, they are there for me in a heart beat. I am so deeply blessed.

Ok, ok.. I said I could go on for hours... and I could. I will stop for now. I am so very thankful for my husband, my kids, my family, my friends... but most of all, for my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Are you thankful for anything?